Older, independent, spunky women have always held a special place in my heart. I can’t fully explain why, but I’ve always felt a natural pull toward them and consider those connections a genuine blessing.
My late grandmother, Gigi, certainly falls into this category, as does my octogenarian friend Sister Eric Marie—a.k.a. “That Nun” in my book Building Good Teammates.
A few select others have joined their ranks over time. One of them, Dr. Victoria Smith-Fowler, passed away recently. Her friends and family gathered in her hometown last weekend for a celebration of life.
“Aunt Vic,” as she was endearingly known by her most devoted students (none of whom were actually related to her) was the kind of teacher every educator should aspire to be. She had a profound impact on my life and on the lives of many others.
I first encountered Aunt Vic as my middle school music teacher. A few years later, she became my high school chorus director. To be honest, I didn’t qualify as one of her most devoted students. I was an athlete with no vocal talent, no real desire to sing, and little interest in music.
I signed up for chorus for one reason only: I got to be around Aunt Vic.
She was a talented musician and vocal coach, but her greatest gift was her ability to affirm her students’ worth. She made each of us feel special through authentic connection, emotional support, and endless encouragement.
Aunt Vic saw both value and potential in you, even when you saw neither in yourself. And if fear of failure began to chip away at your confidence, she was quick to offer a poetic reminder: “What if you fall? Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”
My favorite Aunt Vic reminder, though, was: “You can do more.” She would often write this at the top of students’ returned assignments. It wasn’t so much a referendum on quality or a conveyance of disappointment as it was a subtle reminder that you weren’t living up to your potential.
Affirming value, providing encouragement, and reminding others of their capacity to do more are good teammate super traits. These behaviors endear you to your fellow teammates and position you to bring out the best in them.
Nothing builds confidence like a good teammate’s affirmations.
I was fortunate to keep in touch with Aunt Vic through the years. Not long after I graduated, she left public-school teaching to obtain a Ph.D. in Music Education from Penn State University. She would go on to pursue a teaching career at the higher education level, in many ways following through on her own advice to do more.
I don’t know if Aunt Vic ever truly stopped being my teacher, but at some point, she transitioned to become my friend and, dare I say, teammate—continuing to provide the adult version of me with advice, support, and seemingly never-ending encouragement.
So much of what I have accomplished in life is because of Aunt Vic. Her passing has left a void in my heart, yet her words still live in my head. I hear them whenever I encounter doubt, insecurity, or moments of comfort that tempt me to settle. What if you fly? You can do more. I’m so proud of you.
Maybe that’s her enduring legacy, not just the lives she touched, but the belief she planted in others that continues to grow long after she’s gone. I cannot think of a better measure of a good teacher, a good friend, or a good teammate.
As always…Good teammates care. Good teammates share. Good teammates listen. Go be a good teammate.
